Aloha!


Eh, howzit! \m/

Sooooo, five months since my last blog post, yikes!

It’s been a crazy year thus far. Lots of thinking, doing, learning, soul-searching, and wondering just what. am. I. DOING with my life?! I spend a lot of time away from my family, the people I cherish with every fiber of my being (near and far), and you and I both know time is all that we will ever really truly have on this planet. Time is our most valuable commodity. There are many days that I wonder if what I’m doing, if the work I’m putting in is worth the sacrifice. Sigh. It shouldn’t feel like such an “eternal struggle,” it shouldn’t be that difficult?? I will need to figure it out before I lose my gotdamn mind.

At any rate… I have been able to get a lot done this year (so far), like de-cluttering the house, for instance. I’ve managed to get rid of quite a bit of stuff, oh I’m so happy about it you have no idea. If an item had no value or use to anyone else whatsoever, it went into the dumpster; if there was any sort of value in it, however big or small, I either gave it to friends or dropped it off Goodwill (and if it didn’t fit in the car I set it on the curb out front – gone by lunchtime!). Just letting go of STUFF was like heaving massive weights the f*ck off my shoulders. Like my old notebooks and texts from film school (I mean, REALLY?). There was a time when I would have looked at those and thought “But, but what if, someday…” I enjoyed the shit outta those classes! I somehow managed to look at everything through the filter of “if I haven’t touched it in 6-12 months, OUT it goes.” The tugging “what if” was promptly met with “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” The cost of holding onto it all is much greater than just letting it all go and it’s hard to really understand that feeling of “freedom” until you. let. it. GO.

The challenge now has become “So what else can I get rid of?” How much more can I let go of, give away? I’m finding I don’t need as much as I thought I did. What I’ve found is through all the de-cluttering I’m making room and space for my thoughts and creativity to grow. It hasn’t been easy, old habits including acquiring shit just for the sake of acquiring shit die hard but I’m more self-aware now than before. I may not be where I want to be, but it’s growth and progress nonetheless. So I’m happy about that.

 

 


Still Getting Sh*t Figured Out


Well it looks like there’s going to be some changes around here.

I registered a separate URL for the team, and this will be my personal blog/site. I’ll post and share more team-centric information there, and more personal stuff here. At least that’s the plan for right now.

I keep struggling with what to do with this because part of me (the lazy part) doesn’t want to keep up with & maintain multiple sites. At the same time, I don’t want to overwhelm something such as a team resource with a bunch of my personal interest stuff.

And then the blogging – where should I blog, should I blog here, or blog there? If I blog here, I suppose I should nix the blog there? Then again team members could guest post on the team blog, so there’s that. There’s so much to consider and the kicker is that there is no right or wrong way to do any of it, I just need to decide and DO IT.

I also created a FB like page and several private groups to which I need to add content. The list is never-ending. And I’m tired.

OKAY you know what, I just decided in real-time as I’m typing this that I’m doing away with the blog on the team site. My regular blogging will be done here.

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In other news, I’ve backslid in my numbers as of late. I honestly don’t know what the scale says but my tape measure tells me all I need to know. I’m kind of mad at myself because looking at photos from January, after a vacation in Hawaii where I was eating everything I could get my hands on and sipping on F’real milkshakes with more frequency than I care to admit, and then looking at pictures I took earlier this week? No bueno. Not progress. I need to get out of my own way, and asap.

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In other other news – I’m on track to have our house completely de-cluttered by the end of March. I’m so freaking excited, you have no idea. I started the entire process in the middle of last year and resolved to leave no drawer/cabinet/moving box/closet unopened and sorted through & dealt with, by end of 1st Quarter 2015. I actually wrote down end of April but I’m so close – literally thisclose – to being done that I’m pushing for end of March. All that’s left? Mud room, kitchen pantry, & the hubby’s bedroom closet. That’s it! NON-SCALE VICTORY!! lol

OH! I did pick up my 12-month wall calendar and wrote all over it. I should post a picture. Actually I bought two – one for my wall at work for work-related stuff and one for the wall in the spare bedroom (home office) for everything else. It’s kinda crazy though to think that we’re already almost a quarter through the year (aaaggghhhh!).

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Still working on a lot of personal development – been listening to a lot (A LOT) of podcasts lately. I’m so in love with this format and delivery method of content. I feel like I’m constantly talking about the podcasts I’m listening to but I swear some of this stuff is so life-changing how could I not talk about it?

A phrase I heard from one podcast (The Art of Charm, go there and subscribe NOW!) was: “Evolve or evaporate.” It’s true right, either/or? If you’re not doing one, you’re doing the other. So pick one.

 


2015 Will Have a Plan


Aloha! It’s been too long since my last post. A LOT has been going on in my world. I’ve become almost completely radio silent online. I’ve disengaged and I’m bummed about it.

Despite being inconsistent with my workouts and clean eating (sugar and I just cannot be friends right now), I’ve been much, much better with my daily water intake. So there’s that.

I have a lot on my plate at the moment, and a lot of it needs to be completed by the end of the year. During a month that’s essentially cut in half due to the holidays. But instead of the weight of it all ramping up my anxiety I’m actually looking at everything with an unexpected sense of clarity. Is it because I’m older? Because I’ve been working on my personal development this year?

I feel a sense of determination and resolve rising…to work as hard as possible toward preventing this same situation from repeating itself next December. Unless I make some tweaks here and there, it most likely will.

My next step is to get one of those huge 12-month wall calendars, so I can look at the entire year. I will need to be able to write & highlight all over it.

Then I will add in all important dates, appointments, and any trips or events that have already been scheduled. Monthly meetings, recurring visits, etc.

I will then add in my “final” deadlines for all major projects and tasks that need to be completed during the year (target END dates – basically at what point I want a task OFF my desk so I can move onto the next).

Then work backwards from those deadlines, establishing timelines and start dates, making adjustments where necessary, while leaving room for variables and the unexpected.

And I will purposefully leave the entire month of December blank. That’s right, ALL of the heavy lifting will be completed prior to December 1st.

It’s not going to be easy…but at least I can get started. I know it’s possible and I am fortunate to have some real-life sources of inspiration to draw from. I’ve never done this before but I’m excited. :-)